Have you ever found yourself automatically saying “yes” to everything? Whether it’s at work, with family, or even in your social life, that little word “yes” seems to roll off the tongue so easily, even when you’d rather say “no.”
I get it. I used to be that person, too.
In the beginning, I wanted to say yes. I was eager to learn and grow, so I said yes to every task at work. I didn’t want to miss out on fun, so I accepted every invitation. I wanted to be the good daughter, the supportive friend, the dependable colleague, so I showed up and said yes—again and again.
Somewhere along the way, though, it became automatic. I didn’t even stop to ask myself what I wanted. The answer was always “yes,” even if it wasn’t what I needed.
Do You Relate?
If you’re a high-achieving woman in your 40s, chances are you’ve lived through something similar. You’re used to taking on more than your fair share, stepping up when others won’t, and making sure everyone around you is taken care of. You may not even realize how often you’re saying yes—either directly or indirectly—without even pausing to consider if you should.
Here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be this way.
You can say “no”—and not feel guilty about it. In fact, you can say “no” and feel good, knowing it’s the best decision for everyone, including yourself. People won’t hate you for it. They won’t hold it against you. (I used to think this was a myth, but it’s not.)
How Do You Start?
The first step is so simple you might roll your eyes: stop automatically saying “yes.” That’s it.
You don’t have to start saying “no” right away. Instead, just pause. When someone asks you to take on something—whether it’s a work project, a family responsibility, or even a social event—don’t say yes immediately. Buy yourself some time. Say, “Let me check my schedule,” or “I’ll get back to you.”
For those small, silent “yeses”—the ones where you pick up extra tasks because it’s “just easier” for you to do it yourself—pause there, too. Before you clean the dishes someone else said they’d handle or tweak the report for a colleague, ask yourself: “Can someone else take this on?”
Why Is This Important?
Because once you’ve said yes, it’s hard to go back. You’ve made a commitment, and for someone like you, going back on your word is unthinkable.
That’s why this simple pause is so crucial. It gives you the power to choose—really choose—what you’re willing to take on. It’s not about saying no to everything, but about making sure that when you say yes, it’s something you actually want to do, something that aligns with your values and priorities.
Try It for Yourself
How long can you commit to this? Start small. Maybe it’s for an hour. Maybe it’s a whole day or a week. Choose a time frame that feels manageable and stick to it. Remember, this isn’t about immediately becoming a “no” person—it’s about breaking the habit of the automatic yes.
You Deserve Boundaries
You can become the person who says no without guilt and sets boundaries that serve you. If you’d like to explore how to make this shift, let’s connect. I’d love to help you break free from the automatic yes and start living a life that feels aligned with who you truly are.
Click here to schedule a free discovery call, and let’s make boundary-setting your new normal.
Kommentare