As a wholehearted female leader, you’ve likely spent years working hard to climb the ladder, make an impact, and achieve success. You've led teams, tackled projects, and set ambitious goals for yourself and your organization. But what happens when, despite your professional accomplishments, your career goals start to feel at odds with the life you want outside of work?
I used to find myself torn between professional demands and my desire to spend more time with my fam (boyfriend at the time & our pups). Perhaps you're in a similar place and craving more time for hobbies, personal growth, or even just rest—but somehow, work always seems to take priority. It's a struggle many professional women face, especially as you balance the weight of leadership with the need for personal fulfillment.
When Success Starts to Feel Like a Trade-Off
For many women, this feeling of imbalance can creep up unexpectedly. You’ve been so focused on "doing it all"—meeting work deadlines, supporting your team, dating, raising kids, and staying connected to friends—that somewhere along the way, your personal needs start to fall by the wayside. You've been saying you'll start focusing on yourself "tomorrow" for as long as you can remember and somehow, "tomorrow" hasn't arrived on its own. Suddenly, the career you once loved feels like it’s consuming everything, leaving you little room for anything else.
I remember when I hit this point in my own career, and it played out in two distinct phases.
Phase One: Trying to Do All the Things
In the first phase, I believed that "doing it all" meant being everywhere and doing everything—working as many hours as necessary, fitting in time for friends, family, exercise, and even dating. I was constantly juggling, often cutting out of work "early" (which still meant 6:30 p.m.) to meet personal obligations. I would go to social gatherings, check my phone for emails and texts in between conversations, and then jump right back onto my laptop the moment I got home to finish what I hadn't finished earlier.
It was exhausting, but I told myself this was what success looked like. And, it looked like it was what everyone around me was doing. Everywhere I went, people talked about unhappily busy they were. I had to be available and engaged at all times—whether that was for work or my personal life. Unsurprisingly (in hindsight), this pace wasn’t sustainable. I was running on empty, trying to keep up with everything, and slowly burning myself out.
Phase Two: Hitting a Wall
Eventually, I entered phase two, which was essentially survival mode. I kept working as many hours as necessary, but outside of that, I had nothing left. After checking off all the essential tasks—running errands, caring for my dog, handling the house—I would collapse on the couch or crawl into bed, barely able to muster the energy for anything else.
I was embarrassed. How had I gone from doing everything to barely doing anything beyond my professional responsibilities? I felt disconnected from the things that used to light me up, like exercising or spending quality time with friends, and I couldn’t seem to find my way back.
Redefining "Doing It All"
It took me some time, but I eventually realized that "doing it all" didn’t mean juggling every task, commitment, and expectation thrown my way. It wasn’t about being everywhere at once or burning the candle at both ends. Instead, it meant doing what mattered most to me.
I had to take a step back and ask myself, What do I truly want? Where do I feel lit up or have endless energy? What professional goals, responsibilities, and dreams align with who I am at my core? What personal desires and needs are essential to my well-being?
When I answered those questions, everything started to shift. I redefined success for myself—not just as a leader, but as a person. I learned that by setting clear priorities and aligning my actions with my anchors, I could create a life that felt whole, where both my career and personal life could thrive. Now, it's not that every day is perfect rainbows and sunshine, it's that even on the "bad" or "hard" days, I know I'm overall living my purpose and feeling fulfilled. I know I'm contributing as my best self.
You Don’t Have to Choose Between Success and Fulfillment
As an alignment coach, this is what I help women like you do—find balance and redefine what "doing it all" means for you. Together, we’ll explore how your career goals and personal desires can coexist, so you don’t have to choose between success and fulfillment. By clarifying your priorities, letting go of what doesn’t serve you, and aligning your work with your values, you can create a life where both your career and your personal life feel right.
If you’re feeling out of sync, I invite you to reach out. It’s entirely possible to achieve success without sacrificing what matters most. With a clear strategy and the right support, More is Possible than you think.
You don’t have to burn out to be brilliant. Let’s talk about how you can realign your life and lead with both strength and fulfillment. Grab time with me here to find out how we can get you back into alignment and feeling that sense of purpose and joy: https://calendly.com/moreispossible/coachingcatalystcall
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